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More Seniors Say “I Do” to Living Together Without Marriage

Would she have made the same decision again? “Yes, but I would have done it differently,” she explains. “I would have kept a career and been more closely involved in finances.” She also “would not have tipped my hat” about getting divorced because when her husband found out her plans, he drained their joint accounts. “If you’re not happy in your marriage, do your homework and make your move in a calculated way,” she suggests.

For Those Considering Gray Divorce

  • Try to maintain your own career and/or source of income and build up your own nest egg.
  • Before any discussions with your spouse, research divorce attorneys and see what information they will need from you.
  • Consult experts – attorney, accountants, therapists, etc. – to get your own legal, financial, and family affairs in order.
  • Consider personal and family therapy to work on issues so they don’t impact subsequent relationships.

It’s not all just affairs and breakups – there’s a fair number of happy couples, too. But not all of them feel the need to get married. After two marriages that ended in divorce, Florida’s Adrianne Spiegel, 62, decided to skip another walk down the aisle the third time around. She and her significant other have been living together without being married for about 12 years and she sees no reason to make it legal. “He brought up marriage pretty soon,” she says. “But I was enjoying our relationship as it was and we don’t have kids together so I didn’t see any reason to get married.” Spiegel says she has no regrets, and “living together without marrying might make you work harder at the relationship because it’s easier to walk away from it.”

Many Boomers remember a time when they had to hide the fact that they were living with a significant other without being married from their own parents. Fast forward to the 21st century, and many wouldn’t advise their own kids to get married to anyone they hadn’t lived with first. Read more…