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Getting back with your ex is the most divisive (post)relationship decision

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s reunion is often discussed as the only good thing to have come out the pandemic. . What helped to zap up the Bennifer saga was that there was round 2; that they got back together made this love story ripe for cultural dialogue.

Especially one that many in a pandemic world might have been tempted to explore. It inspires to-do lists, plays with memory, has playlists making comebacks, requires multiple consultations with friends. The only method to this madness seems to be diving into nostalgia and fantasy to imagine a version of the relationship that actually works for you. Research even suggests a staggering number of couples who break up eventually get back together; it’s as high as 50%. Why harp on about a long-lost romance that clearly didn’t work out at the time?

The intensity comes from a sense of redemption. A relationship that ended in the past – possibly due to parental or economic factors – feels like a split in the fabric of the world for a lot of couples. “For most [couples who reunite], they [the new relationships] are intense because they finally get to ‘right the wrong.’ They feel like this is the person they were meant to be with,” Nancy Kalish. Ph.D. in psychology at California State University in Sacramento, told Quartz. “Prince Charles never stopped loving Camilla. But it didn’t work out when they were younger and so he had to marry somebody else.” (And what a mistake that way). Read more…